Onahole Review

Our little trip with Japanese sex toys

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2015 February 25
by AnonymousD
3 Comments

Smooth and Flat Idol Cadet

The depicted characters are fictional, non-human and ageless illustrations of aesthetic arts. In no way they imply, suggest or promote sexual abuse of real human beings or animals. This review is about a plastic rubber toy regardless of fantasy illustrations, without warranty or liability. It's the buyer's sole responsibility *to or not to* import the packaging according to local law about such fictional contents. Thanks for your understanding !

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Hellow fellow fappers, I’m AnonymousD, presenting you Smooth & Flat Idol Cadet, an onahole made by Out Vision. NLS sent it to me for a review, so let’s get to it!

Yes! Another onahole from the “Smooth & Flat” series, well, there are only 2, altough there is a 3rd one but it’s a softer version of the “Girl’s Laboratory” from what I’ve read. The “Girl’s Laboratory” had a nice story behind it, too bad this one doesn’t. This time, it’s not a laboratory developed girl solely for your sexual pleasure, but it’s an idol! A lolicious idol! Now, let’s get the the onahole ;)

Here is what the box looks like.

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The drawing is very cute, striped high socks and twintails, classic <3. It’s well presented, showing on the front the loli you’re gonna fuck, and her insides on the side.

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Taking a look inside of the box, which is quite big for the onahole, it has a carton protection-like-case, so it won’t get squashed in the way to your home. And check out this:

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The onahole was inside a plastic bag, inside of another plastic bag. Plastic bag-ception. Lol.

I’d also add that it comes with a small sample of lube, which is nice, but again, I would have preferred a bottle, specially since it has a big box like that which can hold a decent sized bottle.

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The design it’s a big ugly. The flat chest kinda looks like the one of a shota, more than a loli, and it has 2 ugly balls to resemble nipples… yeah. Also the entrance isn’t very beautiful, not realistic looking like, for lubrication is decent, but not good. Some other onaholes, like Virgin Push have a good labia to hold the lube so you can lube the tip of your penis.

The onahole is big enough, not too deep not too short, but it always depends of your size, but for me, it’s perfect. The durability looks nice, it doesn’t look like it’s gonna break anywhere except for this little part

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But well, that will only affect esthetically, so it’s fine.

Now, what all you wanna hear, the feeling… oh god this is great.

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It doesn’t have a super stimulating feeling inside, but what makes it awesome it’s the tightness! It’s so tight and soft!! Now, many onaholes are tight, but from all 20+ I’ve tested so far, very few can make it right when it comes to tightness without killing your boner. This onahole is tight and soft at the same time, it has a perfect proportion of both so you won’t feel uncomfortable. The tight section is only at the beginning , so the first few strokes might be a little hard, but after that, it’s perfect. It does not require much lube, which is also a plus. The very bottom part lacks a bit of inner structure design, and it doesn’t feel very special, but the first half is pretty good.

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Another thing that I love about it, is when you’re about to cum, I always like putting my penis deep inside and squeeze with the hand the trunk of the penis for a harder ejaculation, well, this onahole does it for you! When you go deep inside and you’re ready to shoot, since the first section of the onahole is the super tight one, it presses really nice againt the canal of the penis, so you don’t have to worry about doing it yourself.

In conclusion, this is a great onahole which I recommend, it’s tightness and softness are perfect, but it lacks a bit of stimulation inside, it needs more pronounced bumps. Also, the price is a little bit expensive for what it offers, a bottle of lube would have been nice.

2015 February 24
by AkaiHebi
0 comments

Blogger kicks out sex bloggers. What now ?

Context

Hosting companies love bloggers. Bloggers spend time creating content, and the hosting companies just have to monetize with banners or keywords. Win-win ! But some contents are easier to monetize than others. Some content is illegal in some places in the world. And some content may shock children and/or their parents. Hosting companies providing “free” blogs usually want to stay out of trouble, so they often downright forbid “adult” content (“shocking, disturbing, or obscene material”), and often don’t think twice before removing an entire blog upon a single DMCA takedown notice. The legal costs to fight a class-action of angry church people or mad copyright industries are too high compared to a single blogger’s freedom of speech, ya know. Tumblr (owned by Yahoo) is well known to pull the plug when it receives too much DMCA complaints. WordPress.com (owned by Automattic) has quite strict rules about adult stuff (basically, you should not make money with it).

Blogger™ is one of the world’s biggest blogging platforms and is owned by Google, a private for-profit company. And yesterday, Blogger™ updated their policy regarding “adult” content: in one month, all sexually-explicit pictures and videos and [unnecessary] nudity will be forbidden and blogs containing those will be turned “private” (effectively shutting them down from the web). And you should feel yourself lucky if Google doesn’t downright remove your entire blog from it’s servers, making you unable to retrieve and backup your content.

The need for sex bloggers

It doesn’t matter if you write about your sexual experiences, write about general sexuality, review sextoys, publish sexy pictures and videos of yourself or publish your own real/3D porn movies: it all has the greater purpose of informing the public, comforting people with their bodies and/or sexuality, and tend towards safer and funnier sex. Intimate doesn’t mean secret. For too long sex and masturbation has been frown upon, shamed and censored. I think it has caused immense harm to society and the people who were “outside the norm” at a given time. 40 years ago freedoms were a bit unleashed, but things return sour pretty fast, like the “UK porn ban” shows, or Facebook and Apple’s battle to hide and remove every boob and nipple on their networks, may it be the view of a mother breastfeeding a baby. I felt all that pressure, all that secret, at the awkward silence of my father and the mocking giggles of my mother when something marginally lewd came up on TV, or my father’s mocking use of phrases like “dressing up like a fag”, I know they’re not mean, I know they would understand and accept me as onahole fucker+blogger. Many of us have no problem living our sexuality how the fuck we want. But there are families where taboos exist. There are families where even the hint of a masturbatory practice means being kicked out.

Sex blogs are important because, aside the optional arousal of the visitors, they offer different points of view, interesting facts, useful sex advice, etc. And sex bloggers gain of it too: I learned many things about myself and met lots of awesome people. That’s why I strongly approve any one who thinks about starting a sex blog.

The blog: what, where, how ?

With Blogger being ruled out as hosting option, there are not many big platforms you can turn to for your blog. One option comes to my mind though:

I really recommend new bloggers to start with a blog on the WordPress.com platform. This platform is operated by for-profit company Automattic, so expect keyword-ads. Sexual content is allowed on the platform under some conditions: it must respect US laws, and in your dashboard you must report your blog as being for mature audience according to their rules:

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It does simply indicate that your blog shouldn’t be included in the WordPress.com directory or see itself promoted on the front page of the platform. Your blog stays online and can be found through search engines.

Creating a WordPress.com blog is fairly easy and provides lots of themes and widgets to customize your blog and make it your very own. You can export your content with a simple click, and all the acquired habits with that tool will prove useful if/when you get more in control of your blog.

Self-managing your blog: shared web hosting

Should you choose to transfer your existing blog or create a new on a shared web hosting, you’re “in-between”: you surely don’t have to maintain clusters of filers and database servers over virtualized cloud services in datacenters across the world, BUT you still need some technical knowledge, and some money. I can’t provide you either of those, just some advice:

  • be ready to pay up to ~10 $ per month for the hosting service
  • play around with the FTP (using a client like FileZilla), have a look inside the MySQL database (using PhpMyAdmin access provided by the host) — you don’t need those on a daily basis, it’s just in case of emergency or backup
  • pick a web hosting service that provides “one-click installation” of WordPress
  • choose a good domain name and remember that it can be transferred to another web hosting service if you want (domain name: for Onahole Review, it’s “onahole.eu”)

Shared web hosting services are many on the internet. Each provide different features at competitive prices. Sorry, but it’s pretty “hit and miss” even for a pro web admin like me. A few ideas I know:

  • HostGator: US company, unlimited diskspace and bandwidth, control panel, one-click install (Infernal Monkey and Hey Epiphora use their service, they seem satisfied with them)
  • OVH: French company, unlimited bandwidth, plenty diskspace for the price, manager, one-click install (n°1 in Europe, fairly good, sadly I was missing some features)
  • (I used GoDaddy years ago but was fairly angry at their deceptive selling practices.. and since they supported SOPA, fuck them)
  • (if you wanna know: as of today Onahole Review runs on shared hosting provided by a nonprofit)

Since they provide the useful cPanel management system, I think you should feel at ease with HostGator :)

Shared web hosting services are usually better at handling complaints: since you pay for the service, they can’t simply pull the plug on your hosting (even if their terms of usage legally makes them able to). But you shouldn’t place too much trust in the companies: keep making regular backups of your data. Also: HostGator states it’s not responsible for downtime or delays by Force Majeure including “acts of God”, which is a really weird and blurry event in the middle of a legally binding document :D

About the blogging tool to use, I recommend WordPress. Yes, that’s the tool the WordPress.com platform is using. It’s free software edited by Automattic, that you can install on almost all web hosting. If the web hosting service provides one-click install of WordPress, then it’s even easier (no need to download, decompress, send over FTP, setup database, configure). In fact, only few bloggers aren’t using WordPress.. just to give you a hint on how customizable that tool is :)

Co-authored blogging

Another solution if you don’t wanna care about the underlying blog management: find another blogger and become author. One blog, multiple bloggers. That’s what Onahole Review does, and WordPress has great user system. While it’s not your own blog in this case, it still can help you learning to use WordPress and prepare to create your own blog later on.

 

Find your way and join the sex blogger’s community !

smoking-phantom

2015 February 21
by AkaiHebi
3 Comments

Smoking Phantom

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Sent to me by the immortal NLS: this very kawaii Japanese ghost onahole made by Hotpowers. Smoking Phantom !

“A little bit more wacky”, I thought. “Why the hell not ?”  And so Smoking Phantom got ranked 2nd in the poll #5. And so it happens to be my first Hotpowers onahole too.

It’s not the first onahole-in-a-can I had my hand on: there was  Chinraku! Tako Musume “Octopus Girl” and Aketemite. But that was long long ago. And quite bad experiences. Smoking Phantom being quite old too, things don’t look very bright from the start. Let’s begin with the design !

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There’s a sister product, Smoking Countdown, with a more detailed picture of the ghost girl:

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I have a little something for ghost girls, especially those with twintails and a bandaid on one knee and that are so fun to fool around with (Mayoi Hachikuji from the Bakemonogatari anime series). Ghosts haunt you, they’re filled with regret and hate, they need your help to solve their issues and finally go to the afterworld. Until then, they won’t let go of you, poor mortal. And they will want to remember the pleasures of carnal love.

Depending on how much vital energy the ghost has, it can loose it’s physical form and just remain like white smoke. Or a blob of jelly.

That’s Hotpowers’ idea: stuffing jellyfish in a can stuffing a ghostgirl in a can.

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The can is filled with a jelly onahole. It’s really as jelly-ous as an onahole can be. Oh, hole in the middle. Sticking penis in.

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Good. First things first: the promo pictures are misleading. The can is so filled there’s barely any space for the jelly to expand when you fuck it. Outcome: very unsexy noises of jelly-farts. That’s for the noise. And the smell ? URKS. AAARRRGH. It stinks of dead dinosaurs: plastic. I swear: even the parody K-On onahole I never reviewed here and was my very first onahole wasn’t so toxic to my nose. Baah.

Bu you have to endure it: you must rip the ghost off it’s can to have a proper fuck with….  holy shit. That thing. Oily. Smelly. And STICKY. IT’S LIKE GLUE AND SEMEN. I was actually laughing, it’s more fun to play with that sticky blob in your hands than fucking it.

I expected not much when sliding my courageous penis inside. Problem: the jelly. It pushes the lube out. Penis shiny and lubed up, I start over. Sliding in. Problem: nothing. Barely more sensations than Hot Girl. I was thinking about the meaning of life for a couple minutes and managed to cum inside Smoking Phantom. Problem: the cum. My white fluids rushed away from the jelly, bubbling out from around my dick as I slowly pulled out, and it leaked all out after my tip, and Smoking Phantom closed it’s entry with almost nothing in it’s “belly”.

Let’s clean it now. Heading to bathroom. Try flushing out inside. Notice the bottom is getting bigger. That’s right: Smoking Phantom was now a WATERBOMB. That didn’t last long though: a little “pop”, and out flows the water from the new hole at the bottom. …  made cleaning easier.

What now ? Oh, let’s powder it, to make it less sticky. Powdered it. Good, it’s not so sticky anymore. Figure out I didn’t shot pics and vids yet. Fuck. Try to wash the powder away: ineffective. Intense rubbing: no shit. Using glue and duct tape: nothing. Well. Good. Great.

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Time to fix this with scissors.

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The result was convincing enough. Cutting the flesh off the ghost girl made it edgy and shit, but at least you can see through it again.

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What else can I say..  it comes with a one-time bottle of deceiving lube, and the price is sickly high. I’m gonna trash the ghost girl away and use the can for something else. Virgin Age Admission, maybe. Thank you NLS and the internet for this adventure !

Youtube mirror | music track: Andreas Viklund – Lovely Heart