Meat is murder, and Cute Hips DX by A-One Tokyo is the killer of boners. Weighing 1.1 kilograms, this grotesque slab of rubber is a so-called dual hole; this bitch got a pussy, an asshole, and a free-of-charge jizz exit-hole!
Welcome, cucks and fappers, to Otaku Apologist’s review of Cute Hips DX Dual-Type Onahole!
Before I bash this bitch beef like she deserves to, I have to remind my dear cucked readers, that my dick is experiencing as of late, an identity crisis. Where before I could never raise a boner to normalfag porn, making hentai my only source of fap stimulus, these days, I cannot fap to hentai either. I’m essentially a fucking eunuch!
Yeah, I got something wrong with my dick… makes this job a little more painful than it should… but fock it!!
The Cute Hips DX rocks two decently designed pleasure holes. I prefer the ass bit, due to its tightness. Where normie holes are easy to wrap your sausage fingers around, this whore hump is large as a prepubescent cum dump’s ass, and cut from the bottom. It is as off-putting an experience as you can imagine. The feeling in both ero-caverns is ultra standard, nothing surprising or gimmicky or even interesting.
There’s the usual ribs and the bumps. The ass puts up a better fight; there’s more friction than in the pussy, while the pussy is softer and more inviting, easier to penetrate deep. Switching between them is refreshing, they don’t feel the same.
The texture is soft enough to grab on to, but jerking it up and down on your cock, is the epitome of awkwardness. If you’ve used onaholes before, you know how they feel; super soft, slightly stretchy, tries to imitate flesh. Your cock doesn’t know the difference, so it’s a good feeling to have the little fellow enveloped in a hole made of this stuff. The ass-portion is nice and spankable, but how the hell do you immerse yourself in a fantasy, when the thing is designed like a set piece in a John Carpenter movie? I imagine splurging it in fake blood, then raping it hard, will satisfy the urges of the more fucked up faplords. I feel guilty for every package of Cute Hips DX I’ve sold over the months blogging and meming about it.
Why did I do it..? (For the mon€y)
The grossest part about the toy is the third hole, the exit-hole, where your cock peeks out during a fuck. While it makes sense from a convenience point of view, because you need to wash your dick cheese post-orgasm, you have to premeditate where you’re gonna cum. The cum will shoot out of the exit-hole, lest you plug it somehow. It’s a very lovecraftian experience.
The package is a mad seller; a fine young kawaii set of buttocks, freely available for cum dumping at will. It’s so kawaii, with even teddy bears peeking out of the bushes against a pink sky full of promise! It’s shiny, inviting, this shit is sold with the package, so check it, stare at it, be mezmerized by the enthralling beauty of a woman’s fake arse. Yeah, yeah. Get sexy onahole lubricant to go with it, Onatsuyu Female Nectar Lotion is my whole-hearted recommendation.
When washing the thing, put the slab under da tab and let your crimes abolish themselves in the courts of Haag-two-O. Because of the exit hole, water runs freely through both holes. Finger fuck and towel, use a micro fiber glove for maximum purification of the insides. Dry the exterior with a towel, and leave the meat to rest.