My name is Cr4zyDuck and from now on I’ll be reviewing onahole products on this blog !
I’m a french student of 20 years old, also the youngest reviewer of the team but the most important thing you got to keep in mind is that I’m a freaking otaku trash believing in 2D only and who’s completly perverted by hentai, eroge and doujinshi. Anime girls are the best. 3D sucks, point.
In fact, I was waiting to receive my last order before publishing any review, but something bad happened so I’d like to share it with everyone here so that you’ll all be aware of the risk which “ordering abroad” may imply…
So to sum it up,
Last week, I checked on my local traking website that the parcel I ordered from OtonaJP had arrived in Paris CDG on April 9th. Until then everything was fine. I live in the northeastern side of France, I’m accustomed to receive a lot of order from Japan and China per month since I’m always ordering tons of stuff (like figures, onahole, t-shirt, dakimakura, videos games…) so I know for sure that once the package is labeled as ” arrived in France ” if it doesn’t come under 2 working days then it most likely means that it has been caught up by custom services.
Because of that and since I saw that nothing was going on via the traking, I started getting worried that custom might had checked the content of the package… and I started becoming truly stressed and afraid that something wrong might be happening to me.
” Did I do something illegal ? ” “Importing onahole isn’t wrong right ?” “What if they open up the package and see my big bro is a perv packaging ?” “What will happen to me, will I have to pay a fine ?” “Will it be grasped ? Or will I even go to jail for importing some loli content ?” “The package is undervalued, what will happen if they notice it ??…”
Yeah, to be honest I really started becoming paranoid…
And finaly yesterday, as usual waking up in the middle of the afternoon after having spent the whole night watching anime ^-^, again checked on local traking website if by any chance the status had changed, But nope. Fuck…
Then, I remembered that big sis told me to empty the trash. Took the trash, went out of the appartment, took the elevator and reached the main lobby of my building. And then, while passing in front of my mailbox, I quickly took a peek through the slot to check if any package was waiting inside. But nope. Damn it…
After that, I turned back and… aside from the stairway leading to the underground and parking lot, there was a big box. I don’t know why but I directly knew that it was mine, and on the moment I yeld out loud “What the fu** ??”
Yup, it was mine. And I found it exactly as on the pictures I took afterward ~
Destroyed, the top of the box was completly screwed up, as if someone torned it apart hands free. Air-cushion and paper were scattered around the package too, with inside some onahole’s box which had been opened up, plastic and packaging removed and box partially destroyed (my big bro and 17 bordeaux).
I was dumbounded. Never in my life something like thise had ever happened to me.
Ok, so first off I was angry as fuck toward the postman. It was HIS responsability to deliver the package against MY signature only, or my mother if I wasn’t home. I don’t know what the fuck happened here, but it seems that he left my packaging in the lobby, without even ringing to my door even though I was home. (my sister didn’t notice anything either). Then, I don’t think it’s the postman who opened the package, but rather those freaking junkies who keeps on hanging out outside and inside the building (smoking weed, taging walls, drinking shit…)
On one hand, I might be lucky since I happened to found the package by myself with “barely” all the content left inside. But on an other hand I can’t accept that a package, which value is more than 90€ can be delivered and treated like this on it’s way home…
I though about this later, but seriously if I didn’t went outside to empty the trash, I would have never found it… I might still be waiting as stupid as I am for the parcel to come, checking the traking daily and becoming more and more stressed for having done something bad by ordering Japanese onahole…
And then, how long did it stayed in the main lobby ? My name was written on the freaking shipping label… how many person did see it with onahole boxes exceeding from the cardboard ?
Fuck… this is just a violation of my privacy. Now some dude here knows that I’m ordering this stuff, and I’m ashamed of that… hopefully my parents are actually on holidays, I don’t even know how I would have reacted in case my mum would have found it while coming back from shopping…
Ok well, that’s it for the story… sorry I tried to make it short but it was kind of difficult.
After that, I went to the nearby post office, I explained them everything and they simply told me to either send a mail to their customer service or to call them. I kinda played the dumb here though, because I told them that the content of the package was gone. They believed me without asking for proofs so that’s fine.
But I can’t accept that. I won’t give up until they refund me for the damages and their unprofessional work. Aside from the material damages, it’s my personal privacy which has been exposed to everybody here and that’s what annoys me the most. I’m done being nice to the other while people keeps fucking me up.
But this time I don’t give a shit and I’ll also abuse the system, fuck that shit I’m not that an idiot to keep my mouth shut. Hopefully no one was nearby me when I found it, because I would have beat the hell out of them since I was pissed off as fuck.
This again, is a simple example of how fucked up and unfair 3D life is. While tons of other people aren’t doing shit and keep enjoying the benifts provided by other. Being honest and good doesn’t mean anything, if you’re the kind one then people will fuck you up and you’ll end up being left alone as an idiot.
What a meanlingless sense of life… why da hell do I have to live in this shitty world ? If I could, I would have escaped this life for 2D a long time ago… Come on Japan! One day, one day I know for sure that as ingenious as you guys are you’re going to find a way for desesparated otaku like myself to find redemption by going living in 2D… like when the VR technology will be at its peak or something…
I know you guys can do it, I mean since you’ve already developped some freaking futuristic onaholes like this awesomeness !
THIS fellow Otakus, is the future! Being able to fuck your favorite 2D waifu 24 fucking 7 whenever the hell you want, nice Japan !
Here, a pic of the onahole’s boxes I get even though some of them were opened by those dumbass ~
In fact, I wrote this article because this kind of situation could happen to anybody who’s ordering stuff abroad. Just keep in mind that those stories doesn’t always happen to the others, sometimes you could be the one who’s going to be dragged in the shit… like it was for me here. I don’t really have any tips to give since it’s a rather unpredictable and rare situation. But even though, be carefull you’re not 100% safe. Keep that in mind before ordering anything. But from now on, I won’t exceed a total value of 60€ for these kind of order, then always try to select SAL/registred since it’s the safest way of shipping if you want to avoid customs shit.
I’ve also told my neighboor to take any package delivered by the postamn if he ever comes when I’m out or something. I bet it’s safer because I know him since a long time now. But other than that… if you’re like me, living in a big city, in a big building with lots of people… you can’t really predict nor do anything else. Just hope that everything will be fine. At the opposite, if you’re living in a village or in some quite and peacefull place, then hopefully those kind of thing shouldn’t be happening.
I’m not intending to scare you or anything, but simply making you guys realise that those kind of thing can happen, so please be carefull.
In my case, I’m actually still struggling with my local post service in order to find a solution. I think any possible refund is out of the question, even though I lied to them about the content :3
But it’s truely a pain in the arse, at least here in france since these folks are some real moron who don’t even know what the fuck they’re doing…
At the very least, OtonaJP’s customer service is truly awesome! They helped me out with this and even now we’re still in touch by mail in order to resolve the problem. So I would say, if you ever got trouble with an order from their website, then don’t worry because the staff is really kind, friendly and helpfull :3
I hope you enjoyed this article even tough there were a lot of text ~ but next time for sure I will post a review of one of the product I received with this order !
Lolicon, pantsu lover, onahole fapper, yuri addict, ecchi and hentai devotee ~ Lolis are the only rulers of this world, and I am their master.
2D > 3D - Cr4zy rage quit from reality
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