Onahole Review

a blog of Japanese sextoys and sexuality

Shipping Trouble

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Retailers-Manage-babship

 

Hey everyone,

My name is Cr4zyDuck and from now on I’ll be reviewing onahole products on this blog !

I’m a french student of 20 years old, also the youngest reviewer of the team but the most important thing you got to keep in mind is that I’m a freaking otaku trash believing in 2D only and who’s completly perverted by hentai, eroge and doujinshi. Anime girls are the best. 3D sucks, point.

Anyway,

Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu, Mina-san! ~ よろしくおねがいします、みなさん!

In fact, I was waiting to receive my last order before publishing any review, but something bad happened so I’d like to share it with everyone here so that you’ll all be aware of the risk which “ordering abroad” may imply…

So to sum it up, 
Last week, I checked on my local traking website that the parcel I ordered from OtonaJP had arrived in Paris CDG on April 9th. Until then everything was fine. I live in the northeastern side of France, I’m accustomed to receive a lot of order from Japan and China per month since I’m always ordering tons of stuff (like figures, onahole, t-shirt, dakimakura, videos games…) so I know for sure that once the package is labeled as ” arrived in France ” if it doesn’t come under 2 working days then it most likely means that it has been caught up by custom services.
Because of that and since I saw that nothing was going on via the traking, I started getting worried that custom might had checked the content of the package… and I started becoming truly stressed and afraid that something wrong might be happening to me.
” Did I do something illegal ? ” “Importing onahole isn’t wrong right ?” “What if they open up the package and see my big bro is a perv packaging ?” “What will happen to me, will I have to pay a fine ?” “Will it be grasped ? Or will I even go to jail for importing some loli content ?” “The package is undervalued, what will happen if they notice it ??…”
Yeah, to be honest I really started becoming paranoid…
And finaly yesterday, as usual waking up in the middle of the afternoon after having spent the whole night watching anime ^-^, again checked on local traking website if by any chance the status had changed, But nope. Fuck…
Then, I remembered that big sis told me to empty the trash. Took the trash, went out of the appartment, took the elevator and reached the main lobby of my building. And then, while passing in front of my mailbox, I quickly took a peek through the slot to check if any package was waiting inside. But nope. Damn it…
After that, I turned back and… aside from the stairway leading to the underground and parking lot, there was a big box. I don’t know why but I directly knew that it was mine, and on the moment I yeld out loud “What the fu** ??”
Yup, it was mine. And I found it exactly as on the pictures I took afterward ~
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Destroyed, the top of the box was completly screwed up, as if someone torned it apart hands free. Air-cushion and paper were scattered around the package too, with inside some onahole’s box which had been opened up, plastic and packaging removed and box partially destroyed (my big bro and 17 bordeaux).
I was dumbounded. Never in my life something like thise had ever happened to me.
Ok, so first off I was angry as fuck toward the postman. It was HIS responsability to deliver the package against MY signature only, or my mother if I wasn’t home. I don’t know what the fuck happened here, but it seems that he left my packaging in the lobby, without even ringing to my door even though I was home. (my sister didn’t notice anything either). Then, I don’t think it’s the postman who opened the package, but rather those freaking junkies who keeps on hanging out outside and inside the building (smoking weed, taging walls, drinking shit…)
On one hand, I might be lucky since I happened to found the package by myself with “barely” all the content left inside. But on an other hand I can’t accept that a package, which value is more than 90€ can be delivered and treated like this on it’s way home…
I though about this later, but seriously if I didn’t went outside to empty the trash, I would have never found it… I might still be waiting as stupid as I am for the parcel to come, checking the traking daily and becoming more and more stressed for having done something bad by ordering Japanese onahole…
And then, how long did it stayed in the main lobby ? My name was written on the freaking shipping label… how many person did see it with onahole boxes exceeding from the cardboard ?
Fuck… this is just a violation of my privacy. Now some dude here knows that I’m ordering this stuff, and I’m ashamed of that… hopefully my parents are actually on holidays, I don’t even know how I would have reacted in case my mum would have found it while coming back from shopping…
Ok well, that’s it for the story… sorry I tried to make it short but it was kind of difficult.
After that, I went to the nearby post office, I explained them everything and they simply told me to either send a mail to their customer service or to call them. I kinda played the dumb here though, because I told them that the content of the package was gone. They believed me without asking for proofs so that’s fine.
But I can’t accept that. I won’t give up until they refund me for the damages and their unprofessional work. Aside from the material damages, it’s my personal privacy which has been exposed to everybody here and that’s what annoys me the most. I’m done being nice to the other while people keeps fucking me up.
But this time I don’t give a shit and I’ll also abuse the system, fuck that shit I’m not that an idiot to keep my mouth shut. Hopefully no one was nearby me when I found it, because I would have beat the hell out of them since I was pissed off as fuck.
This again, is a simple example of how fucked up and unfair 3D life is. While tons of other people aren’t doing shit and keep enjoying the benifts provided by other. Being honest and good doesn’t mean anything, if you’re the kind one then people will fuck you up and you’ll end up being left alone as an idiot.
What a meanlingless sense of life… why da hell do I have to live in this shitty world ? If I could, I would have escaped this life for 2D a long time ago… Come on Japan! One day, one day I know for sure that as ingenious as you guys are you’re going to find a way for desesparated otaku like myself to find redemption by going living in 2D… like when the VR technology will be at its peak or something…
I know you guys can do it, I mean since you’ve already developped some freaking futuristic onaholes like this awesomeness !
giphy
THIS fellow Otakus, is the future! Being able to fuck your favorite 2D waifu 24 fucking 7 whenever the hell you want, nice Japan !
Here, a pic of the onahole’s boxes I get even though some of them were opened by those dumbass ~
IMG_0756
From left to right: My big brother is a pervert, JU-C PUTI 1, The Mouth of TruthTenga EggSeventeen Bordeaux and Scent of School Girl Love Juice. 
In fact, I wrote this article because this kind of situation could happen to anybody who’s ordering stuff abroad. Just keep in mind that those stories doesn’t always happen to the others, sometimes you could be the one who’s going to be dragged in the shit… like it was for me here. I don’t really have any tips to give since it’s a rather unpredictable and rare situation. But even though, be carefull you’re not 100% safe. Keep that in mind before ordering anything. But from now on, I won’t exceed a total value of 60€ for these kind of order, then always try to select SAL/registred since it’s the safest way of shipping if you want to avoid customs shit.
I’ve also told my neighboor to take any package delivered by the postamn if he ever comes when I’m out or something. I bet it’s safer because I know him since a long time now. But other than that… if you’re like me, living in a big city, in a big building with lots of people… you can’t really predict nor do anything else. Just hope that everything will be fine. At the opposite, if you’re living in a village or in some quite and peacefull place, then hopefully those kind of thing shouldn’t be happening.
I’m not intending to scare you or anything, but simply making you guys realise that those kind of thing can happen, so please be carefull.
In my case, I’m actually still struggling with my local post service in order to find a solution. I think any possible refund is out of the question, even though I lied to them about the content :3
But it’s truely a pain in the arse, at least here in france since these folks are some real moron who don’t even know what the fuck they’re doing…
At the very least, OtonaJP’s customer service is truly awesome! They helped me out with this and even now we’re still in touch by mail in order to resolve the problem. So I would say, if you ever got trouble with an order from their website, then don’t worry because the staff is really kind, friendly and helpfull :3
I hope you enjoyed this article even tough there were a lot of text ~ but next time for sure I will post a review of one of the product I received with this order !
So stay tuned buddies =)
Cr4zyDuck

Author: Cr4zyDuck

Lolicon, pantsu lover, onahole fapper, yuri addict, ecchi and hentai devotee ~ Lolis are the only rulers of this world, and I am their master. 2D > 3D - Cr4zy rage quit from reality

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23 Comments
  1. Did you order it via registered?

  2. I had that once, so I try to get the shipment to be left in the post office. Then I could go pick it up without worrying about it because being lost or stolen.

  3. I really like your transition from weeb life to fatalistic nihilism and back

  4. Yeah I had this happen with two packages from otonaJP, one came a day after the other. First one I got the box was beat to hell but the packaging inside was fine. The second one was also beat to hell and one of the toy boxes was slightly damaged. I’m starting to think that the customs over in japan had something to do with it cause I monitored the package and it stayed in Osaka for over 2 weeks before being shipped to the US.

    • Dear Aeraesoria,

      we believe we have already answered your mail and now we are in touch with you about the problem. Some damage happen to a package is unfortunate but thats why the packages are insured to be ready in case soemthing happens.
      Maybe an information that is not only helpful for you but also for others is that it seems you are confused about where the package was. When a package leaves Japan it gets scanned as “Dispatch from outward office of exchange”. After that the package is not anymore in Japan and then the next scan happens with the package arrives in the country of destination. So the package as it was for example a SAL package took to 2 weeks to arrive your country but did not stay 2 weeks in Japan.
      We know that easily that can be confused so this info might also be helpful for others.

      Hiromi san from otonaJP

  5. Haha hi (ou salut?) j’ai eu un problème du genre, Chronopost a même pas sonné chez moi le livreur a même pas voulu se donner la peine de le faire et a renvoyé le colis au japon. Je suis encore en attente du renvoi par Otonajp, très bon site ouaip !

    • Cr4zyDuck

      Chronopost ? Donc t’a pris EMS pour l’envoi ? J’évite vraiment ce truc comme la peste, j’ai eu deux figurines d’envoyés par amiami et j’ai dû payer plus de 50 euros de taxes pour chacune. Les colis sont contrôlés à 99% donc l’utiliser pour une commande d’onahole je suis pas très chaud perso… supposons que le mec à la douane l’ouvre et trouve un bel exemplaire de Kocollo à l’intérieur, on est parti pour les emmerdes…
      Ce qui est marrant c’est que c’est toujours une fois que le colis arrive en France que sa merde, alors qu’au Japon jamais aucun soucis… lmao

      • Ouais je savais pas haha, m’enfin j’espère ne pas avoir de soucis j’ai pris un Seventeen Bordeaux soft sans vraiment réfléchir…
        Jverrai, si je finis en prison je te tiendrai au courant!

        • Cr4zyDuck

          Ok lol ~ après 17 bordeaux je l’ai aussi (mais la version normale) et j’ai pas eu de soucis pour le faire importer. Tant que y’a pas de loli sur la boite sa devrait passer. Après est-ce que en France on peut vraiment aller en taule pour sa ? Franchement je trouverai sa abuser quand même…

          • Pour du loli oui, t’as pas vu l’affaire du gars qu’a fait doujin fr c la. Y avait du loli sur son site et il a fait 6 mois de taule. Alors si on a des jouets sexuels avec des lolis ça peut aller loin je pense.

            • Cr4zyDuck

              Non jamais entendu parler, hormis pour l’affaire du canadien et de sa commande de Cocolo… m’enfin c’est juste de la fiction ptn. Sa me fanne sans dec, c’est pour sa que pour l’instant j’ose pas commande d’onahip. La plupart de ceux que je veux sont basé sur des lolis. Commander sans la boite, seule possibilité, mais sa me brise le coeur 🙁

              • Ce pays devient n’importe quoi, on a même pas le droit d’acheter un sextoy par ce que
                sur la boite y a un dessin ?

                Bref en suivant ma commande sur le site EMS, je vois retenu pour vérification à la douane.

                Voilà pourquoi je vais voter FN, ils ont trop de boulot pour faire chier les victimes du colonialisme africain qui trouvent pas de copine.

                Soit disant replis sur soit, mais les frontières si elles gènent quelqu’un aujourd’hui c’est les Français, et pas les clandestins, mais ils ont raison, concentront la population de la planète en un seul point, le monde doit être bien triste de vivre en dehors de france.

                Et je suppose qu’il n’y a qu’en france qu’il se trouve de l’oxygène…

                Ciao et merci pour ton blog.

  6. Oh my that really sucks, thank you for sharing.
    I’ve had the Post Office hold onto my goods (or even DHL – I hates them) and charge me for customs/Excise before from some shipments from Japan (EMS) /China (but no problems from Hong Kong so far) and USA (Priority express) (that happens too often from the ‘Murrica). I live in Ireland BTW.
    Seriously, DHL makes it so compliacted to pay Duties/Excise… you have to log into some compliacted corporate looking Logistical website, then pray your credit card can be registered to pay the 40 quid you owe for a box you received last month.

    My post office recently started providing a PostPal service where they provide a forwarding address to northern Ireland (technically United Kingdom) before sending it to my local post office down south. They have always been good to bring things back to the Depot if I wasn’t at home to sign for it (I don’t trust my neighbour for my sex toys LoL).
    I could also use Parcel Motel (Nightline Deliveries).. Maximum Locker size 41 × 38 × 64 cm…It might just about fit. the last shipment box I got from Toy Demon is : W31 x H31 x 46cm deep.

    I’m actually not that worried with the versions of onaholes, tentacles, monster gucho beast onaholes, parody stuff. They better go arresting Catholic priests first if they want to chase after us harmless Onahole enthusiasts LoL. As long as the goods get to me!
    Duties
    I’ve had good luck with Toy Demon (once out of three times I was charged tax by customs). KanojoToys (I got caught twice for tax there…).

    • Cr4zyDuck

      Man that’s what truly pisses me off, we aren’t doing anything wrong here simply masturbate with some rubber toys with 2D artwork. What if there is a loli on the box ? She doesn’t exist after all (unfortunately…) so who cares ? That’s bullshit to me, those politics are fucked up. These dudes should rather try to arrest the real dangerous people out there, like the pervert and stuff rather than messing with otaku trash like us…
      You’re living in Ireland ? I heard custom where hell in UK… I’m going in England soon for an internship, I won’t be able to order anything from japan during 6 weeks :/

      • Hi yeah, I’m in Ireland.
        According to the Tracking: the shipping seems to always first come through France or Germany before reaching the depots here in Ireland (whether it is coming from USA or Japan or China). So I don’t know about the UK. I do know is that a number of UK retailers won’t ship to Parcel forwarding addresses at all (HMV or Nintendo for example). According to Nightline Deliveries/Parcel Motel, according to their press release when they reached one million deliveries here in Ireland: the number one genre of posted items is “adult toys”.

        I’m looking at getting 17Bordeaux at some point, and the Sujiman Kupa is on my wish list too. I see it’s listed on Amazon.com (USA) LoL (pun intended). 🙂

  7. ah man that really sucks dude! I know i would have been freaking out if that happened to me. recently I ordered monster wet kiwami and sujiman kupa cocolo and it arrived a day late. It arrived when I was in the shower and i literally threw on a robe for fear that my folks would arrive any second. I hope this doesn’t happen to you again.

    • Cr4zyDuck

      Awesome you did order cocolo ? I’m dreaming of buying this onahip someday but I’m scared as fuck because of customs since the two only shipping method available on otonaJP would be EMS (no way in hell…) or airmal.
      Did you order it with the packaging ? That’s the main thing which might be troublesome to me. I want it so bad but at the same time, I don’t want to end up in jail because of having ordered and onahip. Ordering without the box is also a possibility but arggh, what a waste :/

      • I got it from toydemon when they had the buy one get one 50 percent off for magic eyes products. They remove the box it came in automatically, a shame but I have enough loli onaholes lying around that I’m not too bothered by the hip not having the packaging. Its a pretty good hip, the suction is not pronounced as they proclaim it to be but the vagina texture is very nice. Anal is tight but not as pronounced in texture as the vaginal one.

  8. Salut Cr4zyDuck. Pour un problème personnel j’aimerai bien te contacter par mail (je mets le mien dans ce commentaire. J’aimerai avoir un conseil sur quelque chose en particulier, je sais même pas si tu pourra me répondre mais je préfère demander 🙂

    Merci de me contacter si tu peux !

  9. This sucks what happens to your order!

    I once ordered a onahole from J-List, it got caught up by the custom service in Germany.
    I had to visit the office and should open the box! Man that was embarrassing I can tell you!
    I said it was a gift for a friend but the customs official only smiled at me 🙂 “Little joke huh!”
    After I payed some charge, I could leave the office but there was now problem with the content!
    I mean I even made an order to print some real perverted pictures by an online photoshop.
    No problems at all, I think if it isn’t too real or hard/intense whatever everything will be fine.

    • Cr4zyDuck

      This is so strange, in France nor postal service or cutsom ever asked me to open up the package in front of them. This sounds so stupid to me.

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